the new kitten…

I’m a little bit upset right now. It all happened after I went to the vet. I was at the govt vet clinic, and the vet (another man who doesn’t seem to be able to speak English without having to pause to try and figure out what he wants to say) took at look at Misha’s eye and just said that the eye infection was bad and that she’ll be blind in one eye. And I was devastated. I asked if there was no chance of her getting better and he didn’t say anything. Or maybe he wasn’t sure of how to say it in English. -_- Malay would have been fine, you know, but they never try. Probably because my English is good so they probably don’t think I know any Malay (which is ridiculous as we’re all taught the language in primary school up till we’re 16 or so). So he said he’d give her antibiotics to eat and to bring her back in a week.

To get a second opinion, I brought Misha to a private vet and that’s where things got worse. -_- He told me that I should never take in a kitten that wasn’t vaccinated. (Look, it was a stray picked up somewhere. Who’d vaccinate it?) And he kept pointing out the importance of vaccination. And what’s more, it seems like he’s seen these eye infections so often, he’s sick of them. The worse thing was that he implied that the eye wasn’t going to get any better. But he did give her two jabs and some eye drops. And he taught me how to apply the eyedrops. But he said that if there were no improvements in the next 4 days or so, then…

That was the thing, then what? I don’t know what I’m meant to do if her eye doesn’t improve. Have it put out? Have her put down? What? -_- What happens?! What should I do?!

No one seems to want to say or is willing to say. And the impression I get is that I should just get rid of her. -_-

Okay, so I’m _really_ upset. I’m crying now. It’s only been one day, but Misha’s been warming up to me. She’s really active and likes to play. She likes being petted and will actually come up to my hands to have me rub her head and ears. I love her to bits already and now you tell me my kitten’s a lost cause?

And you know the worse thing? I got Misha from a _cat breeder_. So they weren’t her cats; she’d been given two stray kittens and their mum by someone who’d seen them roaming around. She didn’t want them, and she couldn’t keep them with her pedigrees so she’d been wanting someone to take them in. She _knew_ Misha had an eye problem, but she’d told me it wasn’t a big deal and that she’d be okay after seeing the vet. She had not said that it was a serious issue–or that it might be chronic! I trusted her, thinking that she knew her cats since she owned so many! And Dr Kehoe (who knows her) said that she should have known better, and that eye infections _were_ a serious thing (to him). And worse of all, he’d said that she must really have wanted to get rid of it, since she let me take it in unawares. And I feel really bad about the whole thing.

In reality, I’d not wanted Misha when I first saw her eye. But because Faridah (the cat breeder) had not been overly concerned over its eye, and Misha was double the size of the other kitten who didn’t seem like he’d last a month, I took her. And now this…

It just sucks. T_T

.

I’ll try not to think about it so much. And to hope for the best. I read up on eye infections today. And what should I say? I should have done it yesterday. Just a few minutes and it could have prevented everything that I’m feeling right now. But mostly it’s regret that I’m feeling. Regret that I rushed in getting a kitten, regret for trusting someone else rather than my own judgement, regret over not researching before taking Misha in, regret over having come to adore her in just a day of being with her. And I keep feeling that I should never have a cat again if it’s going to make me feel this bad.

Anyway… from the article, it doesn’t seem as bad as the vets imply… I don’t know. I’m going to just wait and see.

And right now, I think I can say that it sucks. That a cat breeder, a supposed lover of cats, is able to ask me to take in a kitten that’s not healthy–that has fleas (ticks, I suppose) and has an infected eye that in most cases get worse. It’s my own fault, I know, for not checking the kitten over carefully myself. But all my cats before had been stray kittens, and I’d never thought Misha’s condition would be this bad. Never assume, I guess. How often do we really have to keep learning this lesson? -_-

Argh. Right, I know. There’s no point in being upset. I’ll just wait and see and hope for the best. *crosses fingers*

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